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My Subconscious Hates Golf

Author: Bob Andrews

Article:
Bittersweet is the best way I can describe witnessing someone
else's hole-in-one. Today, when out repairing my testosterone
leak, I witnessed my friend Dudley hit one of the ugliest 8
irons in the history of golf; on #11 of Stone Fairways, a 148
yard, par 3. The ball came out low and left to a far right pin.
It hit the very edge of the green and bounced right (it is Stone
Fairways after all), checked up and rolled all the way across
the green and fell into the hole.

Don't get me wrong I'm genuinely excited for Dudley. I slapped
him around a bit, to get him out of his catatonic state. Got him
in the cart, drove him to the green, and led him by the hand to
pin, to pluck the ball from the cup. Made sure he kept the ball
separate from all the less mystical balls, and proudly toasted
him on the 19th hole.

Still the whole time thinking; I really, REALLY want a
hole-in-one myself.

It one of those things most golfers want to do at least once in
their life. I don't obsess over it, but it's been on my list for
a while and it just ain't happening.

I have always believed that if you have a goal, even with out a
concrete plan, the subconscious will somehow figure out how to
get there. Now most of the time this works pretty good for me,
but apparently my subconscious has no concept of what a
hole-in-one is, or how to achieve it. Not a clue.

My subconscious is absolutely crystal clear on what bogeys and
double-bogeys are, has an intimate knowledge of what a "Snowman"
is (that's an 8 for those of you who only see low numbers on you
card), even a vague notion of what birdies and pars are. But a
Hole-in-one is so foreign to my mind, I fear I will be in my
nineties before my subconscious catches on.

I was told some time ago by a Tony Robbins disciple, that in
order to pre-program your subconscious, you need to write down
your goal in a positive form. Well, in my wallet is a tattered
little yellow posted-note. On it are scribbled the words "I WILL
hit a hole-in-one". After 10 years of toting around this tiny
little paper my desire to get hole-in-one and the other thing
written on the note; "I WILL win the Lotto Jackpot" go
unfulfilled.

Admittedly I have slightly lessened my odds of winning the
jackpot by not buying lotto tickets, but I play a fair amount of
golf and there have been plenty of opportunities for the magic
to happen.

At this point I've consciously done everything possible to make
a hole-in-one a reality.

While everyone in the clubhouse was drinking Dudley's credit
card dry, I asked him what IS the secret to accomplishing this
heroic feat. Did he visualize the moment, get hypnotized, Check
his astrology chart and wait till the planets align, pray to the
golf gods... what was it he did to make the seemingly
impossible, possible!?

He didn't say anything, with a smile on his face, pulled his
wallet out and inside was a little yellow posted-note, on it
were written the words "I WILL hit a Hole-in-One".

My subconscious and I are no longer on speaking terms.

About the author:
Bob Andrews owner of TheGolfCollection.com providing the public with unique golf
gifts and accessories as well as caters to golf events both
large and small. Read more from Bob at GolferChronicles.com

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